At the start of a relationship, one may feel like this is it. I have finally gotten my one and only Mr. or Miss Right. Many at times the treatment one gets makes them feel over the moon every time he or she sees them. Later on as the relationship progresses, they see signs that make them doubt if they ever made the right decision.
A slap this minute and the next minute is an expensive gift. They comfort themselves and say, ‘ He’ll change, it’s just a matter of time’ or ‘Its okay, I know it’s just that she’s stressed. It’s nothing much.’
They progress with the relationship to marriage despite the desperate warnings from friends and family. They urge them to save themselves but they still insist and even go to the extent of convincing them otherwise. It is only after marriage that they realize the mistake they made. Regret follows afterward and they feel like they’ve sunk deep and can’t get out. Their marriage ends in divorce or in some unfortunate cases, they end up dead.
This therefore makes me wonder, why do people tend to overlook these signs? Don’t they know the difference between a red flag and a pink flag? No pun intended, but it is such things that can cost one dearly. It doesn’t matter the gender, but if one notices red flags such as lying, gaslighting or the famous ‘silent treatment’ during arguments, then they have to rethink their life decisions.
I have heard people say that when you first enter into a relationship, get in there with your brain and not your heart. I find this statement true since if one views a relationship with a rational mind, they might easily spot the red flags. These flags however may not be visible to people with rose tinted glasses and thus they overlook these obvious signs.
A red flag is like a warning signal or a sign that your ‘ significant other’ is not the one for you. Thus, by recognizing these flags, it can make one step back, consider these behaviors and the impact it has on them mentally, emotionally and psychologically. Red flags that one can watch out for while dating is dishonesty, failure to keep promises, lack of empathy, any type of abuse either emotionally, physically or sexually, one trying to isolate you from friends and family, overprotectiveness and constant jealousy just to mention a few.
However, not all relationships experience red flags, as there are partners who are a total green forest. Their behaviors allow one to feel safe in a relationship and grow a healthy and positive mental well being. Green flags to look out for here are mutual physical and emotional connection, respect of personal boundaries, trust, full commitment, being able to be oneself and matching words and actions just to mention a few.
Next time you into a relationship, why not look out for the red and green flags in a person before making life changing decisions like marriage. For it is better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage.
