Love is supposed to be a safe place, a warm shelter from the chaos of the world. But for many people the person they trust the most becomes the source of their deepest fear. Behind closed doors, where smiles mask bruises and silence hides suffering, love quietly turns violent. And society pretends not to hear the screams.
Gender-based violence is not a private matter but a violation of human dignity. Yet for years, communities have treated intimate partner abuse as something to be resolved at home, often pressuring victims to forgive, stay, and protect the family image. In the process, we protect abusers neglecting the survivors. This silence has cost lives.
What makes intimate partner violence so dangerous is its slow and deceptive in nature. It rarely begins with a slap or a broken bone. It starts with controlling behavior such as checking phones, dictating what to wear, isolating a partner from friends and even monitoring movement. Then come the threats, the insults, the humiliation and by the time physical violence shows up, the victim is already emotionally trapped, financially dependent and socially isolated. Many stay not because they don’t see the danger but because they fear losing their children, being judged or having nowhere to go.
Cases of domestic abuse continue to rise at alarming rates, yet outrage only lasts a week before fading. We treat each death like an isolated tragedy not part of a bigger systemic failure. Police stations still turn survivors away. Families still advise victims to be “patient.” Churches still preach submission over safety. And when victims finally leaves, they are often at the highest risk of being harmed or killed. Leaving is not an act of weakness but an act of courage that too often goes unsupported and judged.
We cannot end what we refuse to confront. We must start by acknowledging that violence thrives in silence. Communities need to stop defending abusers simply because they are relatives, providers or respected people. The justice system must respond quickly, firmly and consistently. Counselling centers and hotlines should not be luxuries, they should be part of a country’s basic infrastructure. Schools must teach boys and girls respect, empathy and emotional intelligence not entitlement masked as masculinity or femininity.
Most importantly, we must learn to believe survivors. When someone says they are unsafe, we must listen. Behind closed doors, love can turn violent but it is inside those same doors that healing can begin if we choose to act, support and speak up. No one should stay in a dangerous relationship to prove loyalty. Love that hurts is not love.
